Because Jen was kind enough to mention it in her comment on yesterday's post - I will relate to you the KY Incident. (it's not as bad as you think...or maybe it is...ah well)
Before The Man and I got married, he was determined to find out just how much he could embarrass me before I'd either 1) leave him or 2) kill him. He never thought for even a moment that I could hold my own against him.
It was Hell Thursday (the day before Good Friday) and we were in one of our city's largest pharmacies, purchasing Laura Secord chocolate eggs for my niece and nephew (and myself, of course). Now, being the day before the chocolate holiday, the place was packed with people as this was one of the few places in town to carry the best quality goodies. To say the lines at the check-outs were long would be a tremendous understatement.
So, standing in line, I turned to say something to The Man, only to realize he'd disappeared. Nothing new, really...men have a tendency to wander off when bored, right?
Suddenly, above the noise of the people, the cash registers, the crying children, I hear my soon-to-be husband's usually subdued voice bellow from across the store: "Hey Honey...THIS ONE???"
Looking over the heads of the people behind me in line, I see The Man standing in the middle of the store holding over his head the biggest damned tube of KY Jelly I have ever seen! Honestly, this thing was HUGE! Needless to say, his outburst and his choice of product attracted the attention of most of the patrons and employees in the store.
All eyes turned from him to me...
My first thought was 'you son-of-a-so-and-so...I'm gonna kill you'. But then, from the beneath the waves of embarrassment and seething rage came a calm voice...the voice of revenge.
I fixed The Man with a vengeful stare and shouted back "Noooo....That's not the flavour you like!!"
Laughter erupted around me and indeed, the entire store. The Man disappeared down an aisle like his butt was on fire.
When he reappeared he was sans lube and his ears were almost purple (that's how he blushes).
Walking by me as he made his way quickly out of the store, he leaned in to whisper to me "...good one."
He's never tried anything like that since.
He knows better.