Saturday, November 29, 2008

Hello, My Name Is...

I was informed yesterday that a friend of a friend of mine recently gave birth to a baby girl (as opposed to a litter of puppies....which wouldn't have shocked me as much as one would think)

She and her husband named the child ~ahem~ Madagascar Delaray. Anyone else want to help me beat these people to death with a garden weasel? And yes, Delaray is the middle name - not the surname. To protect the idiotic, I will leave that out....for now.

I realize that people want their child to be unique. Giving them a name like that isn't going to make them unique, it's going to make them a freakin' target! I think they should take the poor little thing right now and get a nice white and red ringed tattoo put on her forehead.

Names, I know, come and go with time. Not a lot of Berthas, Ednas, Agathas or Hazels running around these days. I believe that is because most of them are in the nursing home.

Nowadays, we are inundated with Tiffanys, Cheyennes, Ambers, Caitlins, Ashleys, Ariels, Courtneys, Whitneys...and all of the many, many spellings thereof.

And speaking of spelling - why is it that names traditionally spelled with y's are suddenly all ending in i's?

Kathi, Nanci, Judi, Kerri, Juli....this is absurd! Next thing you know it will be: "Hi, my name is Heatheri...the i is silent."

I'm not even going to go into the names celebrities give their offspring - although Gwyneth Paltrow, lovely thing that she is (with a great name, too) should be drawn and quartered for naming her daughter Apple and her son Moses. If she and her husband had any brains or biblical knowledge, they should have named their son Adam...that would have at least been funny instead of just moronic. Apple, indeed. What's next? "...and these are my children, Baklava, Parfait, and the twins, Peanut-Butter and Jelly"??

Shakespeare wrote: "What's in a name? That which we call a rose, by any other name would smell as sweet."

Obviously, Shakespeare didn't have to deal with the names of today - because most of the trendy, cutesy names out there just plain stink.




Jenn said...

I think my favourite celebrity name so far is from Ashlee Simpson and Pete Wentz....... Bronx Mowgli ...... seriously ... what the fuck are they thinking?

keshavan said...

I believe my name in Sanskrit means "God with beautiful hair". How's that for interesting with a side of retarded?

Lynn said...

I happen to like your name!