Monday, October 12, 2009

No Harm, No Fowl

Today is Thanksgiving here in Canada.

Normally I would be cooking a turkey, baking pies,
preparing vegetables and all the other things that
go along with the holiday.

This year though - things are different. With The Man
out of work, and me working for less money and less
hours in retail, the coffers are pretty light around here.

Money spent on a big fancy turkey dinner are more
wisely left in the bank for things like hydro and the gas

It's sad - but I am determined not to let it get me down.

I have much to be thankful for - even if I do it over
hot dogs instead of turkey.

My family, my friends, my health and my home.
(well, my home for now at least)

I am also thankful for losing my former job. Sounds weird,
but it's true. I never realized how unhappy I was until I
was forced out of there. I miss my co-workers and friends
within the company, but I sure don't miss going into that
soul-sucking environment anymore.

But I digress.

Happiest of Thanksgiving to all my friends and family and
to those just passing by. May you also have much to be
thankful for.

Monday, October 5, 2009

Eenie, Meanie, Minie, Moron

There are times, I find, that I have to ponder the
intelligence of the general populace. Being a card-
carrying member of the human race, I believe I have
every right to question other members on their
outright stupidity.

This morning as I watched the news, I heard a story
about these two schmucks... some knuckle-dragging
morons, who decided it would be a hoot to sneak into
the Calgary Zoo after hours and get into the tiger cage.

Let's see.

Here are some interesting facts about tigers:

They are the largest member of the cat family;
an average adult male weighing in at a mere
660 pounds.

Tigers are fierce, carnivorous predators and are
very territorial.

They have powerfully built legs and shoulders,
giving them the ability to pull down prey substantially
heavier than themselves. (that's 660 lbs...remember?)

Their prey of choice is buffalo, wild boar and other mid
to large size mammals. When prey is scarce, they will
kill other large cats such as leopards. (jeez...!) There have
been documented cases of tigers killing a full sized

Tiger jaws can snap shut at 900 lbs/psi.
(holy sh*t!)

They have tremendously large, powerful paws- all
equipped with five razor-sharp retractable claws ranging
from 80 to 100 cm in length.

Tigers see in the dark. Very, very well.

Now, after relating all that, I have a few questions for the
above mentioned addle-pates:

1) how much did you have to drink before this
started to sound like a good idea?
2) do you understand that you are allowed to
say NO when someone dares you to do
something stupid?
3) what did you THINK was going to happen?
4) were you dropped on your heads as children?

Honestly, I think the gene pool is in serious need
of some heavy duty chlorine. I seriously wish
that the tiger had castrated these two oafs.

Had I been there, I'd have cheered the tiger on -
perhaps even going so far as to spray these mental
deficients with gravy or ketchup to make them
more appetizing.

Go, Tigers!

(click the pretty kitty for the story)