Monday, October 5, 2009

Eenie, Meanie, Minie, Moron

There are times, I find, that I have to ponder the
intelligence of the general populace. Being a card-
carrying member of the human race, I believe I have
every right to question other members on their
outright stupidity.

This morning as I watched the news, I heard a story
about these two schmucks... some knuckle-dragging
morons, who decided it would be a hoot to sneak into
the Calgary Zoo after hours and get into the tiger cage.

Let's see.

Here are some interesting facts about tigers:

They are the largest member of the cat family;
an average adult male weighing in at a mere
660 pounds.

Tigers are fierce, carnivorous predators and are
very territorial.

They have powerfully built legs and shoulders,
giving them the ability to pull down prey substantially
heavier than themselves. (that's 660 lbs...remember?)

Their prey of choice is buffalo, wild boar and other mid
to large size mammals. When prey is scarce, they will
kill other large cats such as leopards. (jeez...!) There have
been documented cases of tigers killing a full sized

Tiger jaws can snap shut at 900 lbs/psi.
(holy sh*t!)

They have tremendously large, powerful paws- all
equipped with five razor-sharp retractable claws ranging
from 80 to 100 cm in length.

Tigers see in the dark. Very, very well.

Now, after relating all that, I have a few questions for the
above mentioned addle-pates:

1) how much did you have to drink before this
started to sound like a good idea?
2) do you understand that you are allowed to
say NO when someone dares you to do
something stupid?
3) what did you THINK was going to happen?
4) were you dropped on your heads as children?

Honestly, I think the gene pool is in serious need
of some heavy duty chlorine. I seriously wish
that the tiger had castrated these two oafs.

Had I been there, I'd have cheered the tiger on -
perhaps even going so far as to spray these mental
deficients with gravy or ketchup to make them
more appetizing.

Go, Tigers!

(click the pretty kitty for the story)

1 comment:

Jenn said...

Wow ... you really have to be some kind of stupid for that one don't you. I hope that the loss of his arm was worth the rush it brought him .... geez. The funny thing is ... my captcha (that is what it is right?) is "dence".