Saturday, September 27, 2008

Musical Glares

There is a reason that I am out of touch with today's music.

It sucks.
(my blog, my nyaaa!)

Whilst driving my car to the dreaded Walmart this afternoon, I decided to listen to the news. I had forgotten to check the weather report - and from what I could see in the distance, we were in for a nasty storm.

So, on went the radio.

The DJ was blathering on about the radio station's contest to win tickets for the upcoming Madonna concert. (oh, be still my retching stomach) Then he said the words I was waiting to hear: "News and weather coming up."

His next statement made me wince..."But first, the latest from Kid Rock".

I considered changing stations, but couldn't be arsed. I figured I was strong enough to take it.

What I heard coming through my speakers was like a security blanket being wrapped around me. The opening piano riff from one of my all-time favourite songs, Werewolves of London. I was glad the DJ had erred on the side of taste.

Suddenly, my ears were assaulted with Kid Rock's grating voice singing (badly) about his youth and the follies thereof. The security blanket had not only been wrenched from my body, it had also taken several layers of skin with it. Then - horror of horrors - another classic song was thrown into this blender of blasphemy, Sweet Home Alabama! My ears began to bleed and my speakers wept.

I shut the radio off and considered ripping the stereo from my dashboard. I felt sick...and I saw red.

Kid Rock.
This DaVinci of Douchebaggery has, in my opinion, committed the ultimate musical rape of not one, but TWO classic songs.

There is no punishment too severe for this treachery.

I say we hunt him down, force-feed him Abba CDs until he chokes, then beat him to death with his own guitars.

Warren Zevon and Ronnie Van Zant must be avenged!!!

Who's with me???

1 comment:

Jenn said...

I would rather listen to Abba than Kid Rock. I just don't like him. I don't know why.