Wednesday, March 11, 2009

Playing Post Office



Canada Post sucks.

There.
I said it.

I'm sure that now all my mail is going to end up
crumpled and damaged, or strewn across my
front yard instead of in my mailbox - but at the moment,
I don't really care.

This morning, I sent a package to California. The box was
not heavy, over-sized or even oddly shaped. Just a
run-of-the-mill box weighing in at a few pounds.

The guy at the post office tells me that I have to tell him
exactly what is in the box and how much the contents are
worth.

I looked at him with my usual charming 'you have got to
be
joking me' look and gave him his answer: "It's a gift -
it's none
of your business, and it's worth a great deal to me
and hopefully
to the recipient as well."

He fixes me with a cold glare and then says: "Lady, just tell
me
what's in the box and what it's worth approximately."
He sighs like he had to explain molecular physics to me.

These people make about $35.00 per hour to be like
this...and it pisses me off.

I try a different approach.

"Look...this is a birthday gift for a very good friend. If it
was
your birthday, would you want to know what was in
the box before you
opened it and how much your friend
spent on you?"


His face softened...a bit.
A human connection from the Canadian Postal Service...
who would have thought???

"I still have to put something on the label," he said.

"How about gift", I replied.

"...and for value?"

I smiled.
"Priceless."

"Priceless...ok. To insure a package of this size and weight
at 'priceless' value will be
$42.25 and the postage to send it
express will be $34.70....so that's uh....$76.95 all
together."

Have I mentioned I hate the Postal Service?

"Fine...'gift'...value...$120.00....happy?"

"$41.10, ma'am. Thank you and have a nice day."

"Ah...go stamp yourself."

1 comment:

Jenn said...

I always disliked Canada Post.

That is alot of money for a not very heavy package. I used to always put things down like ... photo frame, ceramic ashtray ... shit like that.

I love "go stamp yourself" made m laugh.