Tuesday, March 24, 2009

Spring Careening

Ah, Spring!

The sun is getting brighter, the days a little
longer...and no matter where you go, you cannot
escape the smell of thawing dogshit.

As much as I am glad winter is over, the arrival
of Spring brings so many annoyances with it.

Here are just a few:

Bicyclists. Sorry - I'm not a bike person. If you
can't obey the rules of the road, then your bike
is not a vehicle, it's a toy. And toys belong
in the yard.

Skateboarders. Die. All of you. Now.
The sidewalk is not a half-pipe, bus stop benches
are not for jumping and railings are for hands - not
your damned skateboards!

Rollerbladers. You can die too. Take your fancy-
shmancy dance moves to the nightclub and get off the
damned sidewalk.

Joggers. Nike vs. Michelin - need I say more?

Please don't get me wrong. I have no problem with
any of the above activities in and of themselves. I
just hate it when they interfere with MY attempts to
get somewhere...especially when I'm driving.

I drive a very large vehicle - and I have no qualms
whatsoever about taking any one of you out with it.
I will sleep well at night, comfortable in the knowledge
that I did my part to better the community.


Jenn said...

hahaha .. sorry, your post made me laugh .... we stay off the road on our bikes, actually, if you saw the road we live on you would understand.

I agree with you though, all those things are terribly annoying. They are pretty much year long peeves here.

Natasha said...

Okay....note to self, no biking, rollerblading, or jogging near lynn's house. Skateboarding isn't even an issue as I would probably kill myself. Actually, jogging isn't an option either until I fully finish healing from the surgery lol.

My pet peeve about spring is the flies that get missed with the vacuum start waking up...UGH!!!

Anonymous said...

this is a damn good chuckle.........i read your blog once a month.(maybe)keep it up !!!!!!!!!kent