Wednesday, June 10, 2009

What a Mangled Web We Weave

So, here I was...washing my hair in the shower this morning when
I happened to look up at the ceiling.

"Aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaack!!!"

Big, spindly-legged spider!

How I hate spiders! They creep me out and give me all sorts
of heebie-jeebies. I know it's ridiculous to be afraid of something
one thousandth of my size. It's a completely irrational fear - and
yet, it is very real.

My hair still full of shampoo, I am now afraid to put my head under
the water and close my eyes for fear that when I open them again
it will be dangling in my face.

As I watched it with revulsion and terror, I noticed that it was
having difficulty making its way across the ceiling due to the
condensation from the steam of the shower.

An idea struck me.

I turned up the hot water.
Steam rose up in billows.

The hideous creature began to scrabble more frantically - its
disgusting legs desperately trying to cling to the wet surface of
the ceiling.

Suddenly, it fell.

Fuck.
Hadn't thought of that.

I leaped back, watching the thing curl up into a wet, broiled ball
in the bottom of the tub.

HA! Take that, foul beast!!

"OWWWW!!!....OWW-OWW-Hot-hot-hot!!!"

Boiling hot water was now scalding my skin - and shampoo was
stinging my eyes.

Small price to pay for victory.

Nature: 0 Lynn: 1

Spiders....gah.

1 comment:

sabrina said...

lmao oh man this just made my day, sounds like something I would do.