What a Mangled Web We Weave

So, here I was...washing my hair in the shower this morning when
I happened to look up at the ceiling.

"Aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaack!!!"

Big, spindly-legged spider!

How I hate spiders! They creep me out and give me all sorts
of heebie-jeebies. I know it's ridiculous to be afraid of something
one thousandth of my size. It's a completely irrational fear - and
yet, it is very real.

My hair still full of shampoo, I am now afraid to put my head under
the water and close my eyes for fear that when I open them again
it will be dangling in my face.

As I watched it with revulsion and terror, I noticed that it was
having difficulty making its way across the ceiling due to the
condensation from the steam of the shower.

An idea struck me.

I turned up the hot water.
Steam rose up in billows.

The hideous creature began to scrabble more frantically - its
disgusting legs desperately trying to cling to the wet surface of
the ceiling.

Suddenly, it fell.

Fuck.
Hadn't thought of that.

I leaped back, watching the thing curl up into a wet, broiled ball
in the bottom of the tub.

HA! Take that, foul beast!!

"OWWWW!!!....OWW-OWW-Hot-hot-hot!!!"

Boiling hot water was now scalding my skin - and shampoo was
stinging my eyes.

Small price to pay for victory.

Nature: 0 Lynn: 1

Spiders....gah.

Whine List

I get so tired of the conflicting reports from so-called 'experts' claiming
that such-and-such is good for you, or this is bad for you...or this causes
cancer, this cures cancer...and this - this'll make your nose fall off!

I just finished watching a report on the morning news about the argument
over red wine.

Now, I like red wine. It's got more flavour and more body
than white wine and it compliments most things well...
(particularly Oreos - but let's not go there).

I'm not fooling anyone however, when it comes to the
reasons why I drink red wine. I'm not trying to improve
my health or my oxidant levels...I'm enjoying a glass
(or two) of wine. I couldn't give a rat's ass if it was good
for me or not.

Frankly, I have always found that things that are supposedly
'good for me' tend not to taste so good. Okra comes to mind
....bleh.

Anyway...apparently red wine really IS good for you, provided
you're drinking several thousand litres. Good news for winos,
not so good for your average glass-a-day type.

According to the latest studies, the 'red wine is good for you'
thing is just a myth. One more thing we can chalk up to good
advertising and bad science.

I was happier in my ignorance, I think. Even though I didn't
drink wine for it's supposed health benefits, it still used to give
me a little bit of a happy feeling knowing I was doing something
good for my body. Kind of like eating a chocolate coated granola
bar. The goodness is there - it's just buried under all that yummy
sweet stuff.

Ah well - so much for the illusions of bad habits being good for you.

Next thing I know, they'll be telling me that cigarettes don't have
Vitamin C in them.


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One of Those Days...